A Glimpse of Harmony
by DrummerGirl66
Summary: Sheldon has everything he's ever wanted, but how did he get it? He has no idea. The realization of his perfect life comes as a painful surprise to Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Much Angst. Much Sadness.


Sheldon felt an overwhelming feeling of peace take over him. His entire body was relaxed and not a single bone or muscle ached. He felt full of energy and his mind was clear of any stress that had once harbored itself in his magnificent brain. He took a moment to breathe in and out- almost fearful that this sensation of tranquility would escape him any moment; but it didn't.

He soon realized that he was not in his bedroom. He was in _a_ bedroom, an unrecognizable one, but not his. Still, he didn't feel uncomfortable of disgusted. He didn't even feel confused; it was almost as though he belonged here. He felt completely at ease as he took in the surrounding details of the room he was in. The sheets were grey with a maroon colored bed spread. The pillow cases were grey as well. Sheldon picked up the pillow that was next to him and held it up to his nose. _It smells like Amy _he thought as he inhaled the delicious fragrance that was Amy Farrah Fowler. He could recognize that scent anywhere; it was a beautiful mix of her shampoo and the lotion she used on her glowing skin every day. He smiled as he set the pillow down, thinking of his girlfriend. He had returned from his travels and after a long 4 months away, he realized that she was everything to him. It was going to take a lot of change and adaptation, but they would make it.

He looked around the room again and saw very beautiful and elegant furniture surrounding him. He got up and walked over to the dresser that had pictures placed on it. There was one of him and Amy; it was an old one they had taken that first night they went dancing together many years earlier. He smiled at the memory; Amy had kissed him while intoxicated. The only word he could come up with to describe that event was _fascinating_. He saw another photo but this one was different. It was of him and Amy but it appeared to be a wedding photo. Amy wore a beautiful long white dress that accented every curve and dip of her body along with the tiara he had bought her. He was wearing a black tuxedo and sporting the biggest smile that he had ever seen on a person. His _own_ smile had startled him. Now he was confused. Why was there a wedding photo of him and Amy here? Better yet, where was he?

He stepped out of the bedroom and walked down the long flight of stairs that led to the rest of this beautiful home. There were more pictures on the wall of the two of them and also what looked like a little girl. She was beautiful; she had Amy's face and hair but Sheldon's blue eyes. She looked to be about 5 years old. _Who is she? _Sheldon asked himself running his fingertips over the framed photo on the wall. Just then he heard a voice behind him.

"Good morning, handsome" He turned to see his beautiful Amy standing there. She did indeed look _beautiful_. Her hair was long and had lose curls that cascaded down her shoulders. She appeared to be wearing a light blue sun dress and sandals and she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck and placed a soft kiss on his lips. Sheldon closed his eyes and savored the feeling. Her lips were so soft, so delicate. He had recently begun to kiss Amy more often but each time brought a new sensation. He placed his arms around her waist and she pulled her lips from his and smiled up at him and he instinctively pushed her hair behind her ear so he could see her beautiful face. She was glowing; everything about her was radiant and perfect. Her smile was bright and her eyes piercing. He couldn't stop staring at the beautiful woman in front of him and he noticed then that she had a diamond ring on her finger. He checked his hand and found a silver band on his. So they _were_ married. He thought surely he would remember such a thing, but right now he let all of his questions go. None of them were more important than the stunning woman standing right in front of him. She smiled and kissed his cheek before whispering

"Your daughter was waiting for you to wake up. She misses you"

Sheldon pulled back and stared at Amy then looked over at the picture on the wall. _Daughter. We have a daughter? _Could it be? He and Amy had always contemplated creating their Homo Novus via a test tube, but he had a strange feeling that this child was conceived in a different way; a natural way. The very thought of he and Amy making love scared him, but it also excited him. Had they finally reached that point? Was he finally able to show the woman that he loved just how much he loved her? His thoughts were interrupted when the most beautiful little girl came running into the room. She was no longer just a picture; she was _real_.

"Morning Daddy!" she said excitedly as she reached her arms up to Sheldon. This should have scared him; he should have felt terrified and overwhelmed. So why did he feel so happy? Why did he feel like everything in front of him was absolutely perfect? Sheldon felt himself tearing up. He looked down at the little girl and reached down to pick her up and pull her into his arms. She was so beautiful; she was a perfect representation of her mother while still showing some traits from her father. Sheldon smiled and held back tears as he held his little girl in his arms for what felt like the first time.

"Good morning, little one" he said. He couldn't break his smile as he watched the little girl snuggle her head onto his shoulder.

"Ember just loves her Daddy" Amy said placing a kiss on Sheldon's cheek_. Ember. What a beautiful name. I bet Amy came up with that _he thought to himself. He glanced up from his daughter and something on the mantle of the fireplace that caught his attention. He walked towards it with his daughter still in his arms.

"Is… is that…"

"You're Nobel Prize? Why yet it is, Dr. Cooper" Amy said with a grin on her face as she followed Sheldon to the mantle. Sheldon couldn't believe it. His dream had come true and he had won the Nobel Prize that he had wanted since he was just a child. Yet it seemed somewhat… insignificant compared to everything else he now had. Amy was his wife and she had given him the most beautiful little human being on this earth. How did all of this happen? How did this perfect life come to be? He put Ember down so she could go play and he looked at Amy.

"I don't know how I got here, all I know is that I never want to leave" he then pulled Amy to him and kissed her with all the passion he could muster. He felt his heart swell with pride and love as he kissed the woman he had married. She was perfect in every possible way; he had always known that. She was the only person who would ever make him truly happy. He fought it for so long. He regretted the fact that it took so many years for him to finally enjoy the truly exceptional human being that was Amy Farrah Fowler. He broke the kiss and was hurt to see a frown on her beautiful face. He placed a hand on her cheek and asked

"What is it? What's wrong?" Amy continued to frown as she looked up at him.

"You don't remember how you got here?"

Sheldon looked confused. He tried to think of things that may have happened in the past that he missed but he couldn't. Amy noticed his confusion and asked

"You have no idea where we are, do you?"

Sheldon shook his head. Why couldn't he remember? Why didn't he know how his life came to be so… _perfect_. Everything that he had ever dreamed of was right here in front of him. He wanted to remember; he wanted to have the memories of how all this beauty came to be, but he was at a loss.

"Sheldon… this is heaven"

Sheldon gave her an odd look. Certainly this life had a heavenly quality to it, but there was no need to make it sound so literal. He wanted a real explanation as to where he was and how he got here.

"Amy, I agree that this is… somewhat like heaven but-"

"No Sheldon, you're here… in heaven… with me"

Sheldon's eyes went wide. _Impossible_. He had doubted this heaven his mother preached about for years; he couldn't find scientific proof of it. There was no way.

"Amy I can assure you that this is not Heaven. Now please, tell me what happened?" Amy frowned and a tear slipped down her cheek. She ran her finger tips over his cheek and marveled in the beauty that was Sheldon. She loved him with every ounce of her being and she hated seeing him so confused. She knew he needed to understand. She had to make him understand.

"Sheldon… you were in an accident. You were hurt beyond repair. The doctors did what they could, but when it wasn't enough…" she wiped a tear from her eye as she continued. "This is your heaven, Sheldon. This is what you wanted. Your perfect life is being lived now because you're living it _here_, in heaven"

Sheldon couldn't- no, wouldn't believe it. This had to be some sort of bad dream. He would wake up any minute now and run to Amy's and tell her about the dream. Then he would tell her how beautiful she was and how he never wanted to live a life without her in it. He would tell her that in this dream they had a beautiful daughter and someday, they would recreate that small miracle and raise an amazing human being together. He would tell her how much he loved her and how he would do anything to right his wrongs. He wanted to tell her all of it; but he wasn't waking up. He looked down at Amy who still had tears running down her face. He reached his fingers out to wipe them away; he hated to see his Amy cry. She smiled at his touch and reached up to hold his hand and whispered

"This is our life now, Sheldon. We can finally be everything we've ever wanted to be. We have a family, you have your Nobel Prize… it's all here"

Sheldon swallowed and looked around, still confused.

"What about our friends? Are they here?"

Amy frowned and shook her head and squeezed his hand.

"No Sheldon, they are still alive and well. We can look down on them any time we want, though. We can watch over them." Sheldon swallowed and he felt a lump in his throat. He missed his friends now more than ever, every single one of them. He knew it was selfish but he wanted all of them there with him and Amy. He wanted them to see how far they had come. He wanted them to see their beautiful daughter and how much he loved her even though he had just met her. He wanted them to see the man that he had always wanted to be brought to life. Why couldn't they see that? Then something dawned on him. His friends were still alive, so they weren't here with him. They were down below living their lives as usual. But here was Amy, standing here with him. He could feel her touch, the heat of her skin. He could smell her scent radiating from her body when she stepped closer to him. She was very real to him, she was there.

"Amy, if I truly am dead… and this is heaven… then why are you here?"

He was awoken with a jolt. He couldn't see; everything was black. He heard voices around him. They were yelling but they felt like whispers surrounding him.

"… We've got him! We've got a heartbeat! He's back!"

"Make sure he's stabilized! We don't want to lose him again! He's lost a lot of blood…"

What was happening? Why was he in so much pain? His arms, his ribs, his head, everything hurt. Everything ached. He couldn't move. He wanted to go back to Amy, he wanted to hold her again, and he wanted to feel her again. She would explain everything to him. She would make sense of all this chaos; she always did.

He felt his eyes slowly open and he saw doctors and nurses surrounding him and poking him with different things. He was hooked up to several machines and everyone was in a rush to make sure he was okay. He looked around and saw a doctor checking his pulse and he asked

"W-where am I?" the doctor looked down at him and gave him a small smile

"You sir, are back with us. We thought we lost you. We did everything we could and we got that heart of yours working again. Don't worry, we are going to take good care of you" Sheldon swallowed and looked around. Was he really in an accident like Amy said? _Amy_.

"Amy… where's Amy? My girlfriend… where is she? I need to see her" The doctor heard his request and his smile turned to a frown as he looked down at Sheldon.

"Dr. Cooper, I'm sorry to have to tell you this but… she was in the car with you, and unlike you, she couldn't be revived. She died about 15 minutes ago. I'm very sorry"

No. No. No, this wasn't happening. It couldn't be happening. This was the dream right? This was the nightmare that he would wake up from? He would wake up and run to Amy and his beautiful little girl and promise never to leave them.

Except there was no more Amy, and there was no beautiful little girl.

They had taken him away from them. When he had died, they were his life now. He entered heaven with everything he had ever wanted right there with the exception of his friends. He had it all… and they took it away from him.

"No! No let me go! Please! Let me go back to Amy! Please don't make me stay here!" He gripped the doctor's jacket and sobs wracked his entire body as he begged.

"P-Please let me go… she's waiting for me… she's waiting for me up there…" The doctor frowned and made Sheldon remove his hands from him.

"I'm sorry sir, but you have a lot of people who love you waiting to see if your okay-"

"No! Please, god no! I want to go! I want to go be with Amy! I was there just… just send me back! Or… something!" The doctor tried to calm him down but Leonard came in and grabbed Sheldon and held his face in his hands.

"Sheldon! God I'm so glad you're okay buddy" He wrapped Sheldon in a hug and Sheldon just cried harder into Leonard's arms. He couldn't stop it; he didn't want to be here. He wanted to be with the love of his life. Leonard felt his sobs and he rubbed his back and held him tighter.

"Sheldon, it's okay…"

"No…i-it's not… I want to go, Leonard… she's waiting for me…" Leonard felt his eyes water with those words. Sheldon knew about Amy, he knew that she had died in the accident. Now, he had no desire to live. Leonard bit his lip and tried to think of something to say, but he had nothing. He just held Sheldon tighter and whispered

"I'm so sorry Sheldon…"

Leonard knew now that Sheldon would never be the same. He would no longer have the drive to be the man he always wanted. He would no longer have the energy to work or even insult his friends. He would no longer be happy, and Leonard was afraid, more than anything, that Sheldon wouldn't make it. It has been reported several times that people have died from broken hearts.

For Sheldon it wasn't an if, but a when.


End file.
